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My weird little daemon spawn.

Babies are not fun. I do not enjoy babies. I never wanted children. Yet somehow, I have two girls, Vivian, who is 21 months, and Rosalyn who is 8 weeks today. Now, part of me TOTALLY digs these kids, mostly when my Ritalin kicks in. THe other part of me, resents them, resents myself for not being more careful, not having the abortion, etc, etc. It's really conflicting. How can I love them so fucking much sometimes it actually hurts, and yet other times, want to throw them?
I had to take Rosalyn to the doctor yesterday because of these rashes-she had a yeast infection from a diaper rash....which I attribute to people putting the diapers too tight, and also she seems to be rather sensative to Gain, so I had to go out and buy Ivory Snow for 10 freaking dollars and am now rewashing everything. Like I don't have enough stuff to avoid doing. It was the first time I had a chance to just hang out with Rosalyn alone, and you know what? She's a GREAT baby when we go out. We ran into a co-worker-she was totally smiling and everything-she's totally interested in the world around her....and Vivian is currently sitting at the window yelling "bye boobies!" (her word for birds ) Somedays they are so cool...
I bought some bird feeders for Vivian to watch the birds-so far in our yard/general area we have seen the following:
  • Pheasants
  • Finches ( male and female)
  • Blue Jay
  • Canada Goose
  • Male & Female Mallards

THis does not include the HUGE racoon that tries the garbage can once a week in the hopes that my Dad is still here and forgot to seal the lid. That damn things is bigger than the coons at home in Toronto I swear.

So it's cool to be able to do shit with Vivian, like having her "help" me rake the backyard. She LISTENED to instructions! She calls her grandfather "Bucko" (which is alot more amusing when you know the guy) She's a beautiful intelligent little girl who's happier than I've ever been. So apparently we're doing something right. I know that everyone says their kid is the best, but when I look at other kids her age, they don't look nearly as "with it".

Have to go. She's decided it's time to read mommy a book.

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