6 Things
I'm special! Someone picked me! (Blame Sisypus)
6 "Things" about me...hmmmmm
1. I am adopted, and have met my birth family. When I was 18, just after Christmas, someone from ParentFinders contacted me, and told me my family had been located 45 mins from my home. I spent the last semester of high school shuffled between my Dad and my birth mother. It was a bit rough, and I had a new found respect for kids in divorce families. I then fell in love, which my birth mother, on some level, seemed to resent, since I refused to spend the summer before university with her, as opposed to my then boyfriend (now husband). To make matters worse, that Christmas, she got really really sick, and every single moment of my childhood flashed back, especially when she snapped at me to stop hovering around the room while they waited for the ambulance. I didn't know what to do. But I knew I couldn't do that-I couldn't become emotionally invested in this relationship.
It sucks, because I have a half sister I never really had the chance to get to know. But I met all of my relatives, and decided I was much happier where I was raised. Ironically enough, my birth father died the same year as my adoptive mother. It's funny-even as a small child, I only ever wanted to know my mother, not my father. It's like something in me knew to not care. While I don't regret the meeting, it wasn't at all what I thought it was. 20 years of expectations are sometimes hard to fight against. Vivian was my biological grandparents first grandchild-my grandmother Joyce knew she was coming, but never got to know she was here. Joyce died of cancer 2 weeks after Vivian was born. So it's a mixed bag really.
2. I got married at 19. And not because I was pregnant. I don't really know why we got married so early. I say it was to help my husband get his student loan, since he was able to get the funding he needed if we were married. But I know I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. I regret that there was no romantic moment, instead we just decided to get married. My whole life is one long unromantic novel it seems. We know that everyone expected us to fail. It was 8 years on April 18th, so THERE!
3. I miss hitchhiking. When I was younger, I used to thumb everywhere. Even if it was just to the next town, there was this immense freedom in it, this wind that carried through my hair, made me feel so much myself. I was never really scared, except for 2 times, which were my fault for not listening to my hinky meter, and that I controlled and exited. I usually only met good people who passed on a little good karma my way. I'll always remember those people for reminding me that most strangers are inherently GOOD.
4. I cut off my split ends one by one. I don't know why. And lord yes, I know it's weird. that's what happens when you quit smoking.
5. I never wanted kids. EVER. I don't even really like children. Oh course, I totally dig mine, but it was never something that was in the cards so far as I knew. Both were accidents. ok, the first was an accident, the second a moment of retardedness. We love them to bits but honestly, if I could go back and not have them I would in a heartbeat. It's terrible and sad to admit, but it's true. This never gets in the way of raising them, but I oftimes wonder why I have two, and people I know who desperately want kids have none. Stupid genes and childbearing hips...
6. I constantly worry that I'm going crazy. Literally. While I'm waiting to be fully diagnosed, I'm quite sure that what I have is a bipolar disorder and not ADHD, and I'm scared that it's getting worse. Nothing frightens me more than the thought of going crazy and knowing it.
That's a few tidbits about me. And cause I'm curious, I am tagging:
Nicole
Nat
Carin
Liesl
6 "Things" about me...hmmmmm
1. I am adopted, and have met my birth family. When I was 18, just after Christmas, someone from ParentFinders contacted me, and told me my family had been located 45 mins from my home. I spent the last semester of high school shuffled between my Dad and my birth mother. It was a bit rough, and I had a new found respect for kids in divorce families. I then fell in love, which my birth mother, on some level, seemed to resent, since I refused to spend the summer before university with her, as opposed to my then boyfriend (now husband). To make matters worse, that Christmas, she got really really sick, and every single moment of my childhood flashed back, especially when she snapped at me to stop hovering around the room while they waited for the ambulance. I didn't know what to do. But I knew I couldn't do that-I couldn't become emotionally invested in this relationship.
It sucks, because I have a half sister I never really had the chance to get to know. But I met all of my relatives, and decided I was much happier where I was raised. Ironically enough, my birth father died the same year as my adoptive mother. It's funny-even as a small child, I only ever wanted to know my mother, not my father. It's like something in me knew to not care. While I don't regret the meeting, it wasn't at all what I thought it was. 20 years of expectations are sometimes hard to fight against. Vivian was my biological grandparents first grandchild-my grandmother Joyce knew she was coming, but never got to know she was here. Joyce died of cancer 2 weeks after Vivian was born. So it's a mixed bag really.
2. I got married at 19. And not because I was pregnant. I don't really know why we got married so early. I say it was to help my husband get his student loan, since he was able to get the funding he needed if we were married. But I know I wouldn't have done it if I didn't want to. I regret that there was no romantic moment, instead we just decided to get married. My whole life is one long unromantic novel it seems. We know that everyone expected us to fail. It was 8 years on April 18th, so THERE!
3. I miss hitchhiking. When I was younger, I used to thumb everywhere. Even if it was just to the next town, there was this immense freedom in it, this wind that carried through my hair, made me feel so much myself. I was never really scared, except for 2 times, which were my fault for not listening to my hinky meter, and that I controlled and exited. I usually only met good people who passed on a little good karma my way. I'll always remember those people for reminding me that most strangers are inherently GOOD.
4. I cut off my split ends one by one. I don't know why. And lord yes, I know it's weird. that's what happens when you quit smoking.
5. I never wanted kids. EVER. I don't even really like children. Oh course, I totally dig mine, but it was never something that was in the cards so far as I knew. Both were accidents. ok, the first was an accident, the second a moment of retardedness. We love them to bits but honestly, if I could go back and not have them I would in a heartbeat. It's terrible and sad to admit, but it's true. This never gets in the way of raising them, but I oftimes wonder why I have two, and people I know who desperately want kids have none. Stupid genes and childbearing hips...
6. I constantly worry that I'm going crazy. Literally. While I'm waiting to be fully diagnosed, I'm quite sure that what I have is a bipolar disorder and not ADHD, and I'm scared that it's getting worse. Nothing frightens me more than the thought of going crazy and knowing it.
That's a few tidbits about me. And cause I'm curious, I am tagging:
Nicole
Nat
Carin
Liesl
I think most adoptees have far more interest in the birth mother than the birth father (if they have any in him at all). Really, the mother is where the romanticism lies, right? She carried us, and she is the one who chose to give us up. The father is just a sperm donor, really.
I think most reunion stories follow a similar path--an intensive honeymoon period followed by a withdrawl as "Real Life reasserts itself.
And if you are crazy, I'm thinking it's in the good way.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:32 p.m.
awwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww
I think you're right about the penis thing though. I've just always wondered if it would have been different if my father had of got sick and died, if then I'd want to know my father.
I look like my father too, that's the messed up part. My high cheekbones, the smirk, it's all him. he was pretty actually. My mother, not so much.
Posted by
thordora |
3:58 p.m.
Spitting image of my birth mother. It's very freaky.
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:22 p.m.
First, I had no idea youw ere adopted. How did that fact escape me??
Second, I'M REALLY MAD YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN TAGGED! That's one less person I get to tap.
Third, I've already been tagged by Ash and Shirley but you still get the credit whenever I finally post the thing. Such a procrastinator!
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:44 p.m.
Sisypus I don't want to reenter the fray just yet, but I've been know to drug my children as well. Tonight might be another night of that since I don't think I can do 3 nights in a row of "you can't make me"
Posted by
thordora |
11:11 a.m.
Unrelated, but do you and Carin know each other or soomething?? I mean, there's "vomitcomit.blogspot.com" (you) and then there's "vomitcomet.blogspot.com" (her).
Why are you guys doing this to me??
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:32 p.m.
We don't KNOW eachother-we each had out separate blogs, and then somehow she found out about mine, and then I say that link thru technorati, and I linked to her since her blog is damn cool, AND she lives in an area close to where I lived once, and some other oddities...
I'm not TRYING to confuse me. She's cool though. :P
Posted by
thordora |
2:47 p.m.
Aww? You like it! Grins.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:25 p.m.