I'M right DAMMIT! Admit it!
Sigh...
So I'm making my Saturday morning, avoiding my work temporarily perusal of my favorite blogs, linked or saved elsewhere because I'm lazy, when it occurs to me. There is a BUTTLOAD of whining, crying, sniveling and arguing going on.
And I don't necessarily mean that I'm surprised by any of this. Au contraire-I usually participate, or start shit myself. I'm just that kind of girl.
But it struck me that we spend an awful lot of time arguing the same things. On Blogging Baby, we have this thread, once again sparking the Vaccination debate. Sorry guys, I will forever be one of those people who remembers my father telling me stories of all the diseases his friends and friends parents died of as a child. My kids will risk the needles, and for ALL of our sakes, I believe everyone else should as well. I've bitched about it before, and I'm tired of the argument. We could go back 100 years or so and worry about infant and child mortality again, but since vaccinations and sanitation have helped eradicate these things, we're free to argue piss and moan about "possible" side effects to otherwise healthy children. Someone, somewhere will always have an adverse reaction to something. Sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the good of all people (or does community end with each of us?)
So then I see that Eden has left me a link to a post at "The good, the bad and the ugly" which not only sparked arguments, but some rudeness in it's own way.
I have kids, and I found this post to be true to an extent, and I found myself laughing with the author, as she was clearly frustrated by this type of thing, as I have been MANY times. Know why? Because we hated cliques in high school! They were snotty, and mean, and in some cases, not very bright. We were told "don't worry-it will be over soon!"
10 years later, we have cliques again, only instead of talking about clothing, it's about kids. Now, I like my kids, they're funny, occasionally they are the subject of a post. But I do have more to me than that, just like I did 4 years ago before those little lines popped up. And I like to show it, I like to show myself to be a well rounded person who can have a conversation about baby poop and screamo all in the same day. And for some of us, it's a little disturbing to see some of the stepfordy blogs out there, because we might be interested in YOU as a person, not just the overwhelming cuteness that is you kid. It does get a bit much in certain "circles".
But, as Sherri has discovered, don't say any of this out loud, or in any way that may be perceived as "mean". You'll be crucified. And why? She's expressing her opinions, and her frustrations, talking about HER adverse reaction to "ALL MOMMY ALL THE TIME" blogs, and the people who continue like this into real life.
Are her opinions less valid than yours? You're entitled to have your own "We hate whiny people with kids" posts too.
I don't get it.
We all want our opinions validated, as obviously I do if I display them for all to see. Some of us also like to start debates, arguments. Maybe Sherri's language was a bit strong? Doubtful. She was pissed and annoyed, and it showed. I doubt that she was "jealous" for not having kids as one person stated.
Since I've started doing this "blog thing", I've noticed that you can't just have an opinion. In many cases, you MUST have a reason for it. You MUST hate kids if you hate mommy blogs. You MUST hate nascar if you hate those annoying blogs with all the stupid car pictures.
I hate tomatoes, and V8, but I love marinara sauce.
The world isn't all or nothing, and it hasn't been black and white since any of us were 5 years old. Why can no one disagree without getting their shorts in a wad, or taking personal offence to it? Disagree with me sure, but don't assume I'm a communist wingnut because I believe in herd immunity. I don't believe you're an idiot because you've made the best decision you think you can for your kid. I QUESTION that decision, and I worry about the increasing number of people who do. I WANT to hear your reasons, just like I want to hear Sherri's reasons for not liking Mommy blogs, or her commenters reasons for LIKING them. (Didn't see any of those)
We can't all be right, but why can't we at least be nice?
So I'm making my Saturday morning, avoiding my work temporarily perusal of my favorite blogs, linked or saved elsewhere because I'm lazy, when it occurs to me. There is a BUTTLOAD of whining, crying, sniveling and arguing going on.
And I don't necessarily mean that I'm surprised by any of this. Au contraire-I usually participate, or start shit myself. I'm just that kind of girl.
But it struck me that we spend an awful lot of time arguing the same things. On Blogging Baby, we have this thread, once again sparking the Vaccination debate. Sorry guys, I will forever be one of those people who remembers my father telling me stories of all the diseases his friends and friends parents died of as a child. My kids will risk the needles, and for ALL of our sakes, I believe everyone else should as well. I've bitched about it before, and I'm tired of the argument. We could go back 100 years or so and worry about infant and child mortality again, but since vaccinations and sanitation have helped eradicate these things, we're free to argue piss and moan about "possible" side effects to otherwise healthy children. Someone, somewhere will always have an adverse reaction to something. Sometimes we need to make sacrifices for the good of all people (or does community end with each of us?)
So then I see that Eden has left me a link to a post at "The good, the bad and the ugly" which not only sparked arguments, but some rudeness in it's own way.
I have kids, and I found this post to be true to an extent, and I found myself laughing with the author, as she was clearly frustrated by this type of thing, as I have been MANY times. Know why? Because we hated cliques in high school! They were snotty, and mean, and in some cases, not very bright. We were told "don't worry-it will be over soon!"
10 years later, we have cliques again, only instead of talking about clothing, it's about kids. Now, I like my kids, they're funny, occasionally they are the subject of a post. But I do have more to me than that, just like I did 4 years ago before those little lines popped up. And I like to show it, I like to show myself to be a well rounded person who can have a conversation about baby poop and screamo all in the same day. And for some of us, it's a little disturbing to see some of the stepfordy blogs out there, because we might be interested in YOU as a person, not just the overwhelming cuteness that is you kid. It does get a bit much in certain "circles".
But, as Sherri has discovered, don't say any of this out loud, or in any way that may be perceived as "mean". You'll be crucified. And why? She's expressing her opinions, and her frustrations, talking about HER adverse reaction to "ALL MOMMY ALL THE TIME" blogs, and the people who continue like this into real life.
Are her opinions less valid than yours? You're entitled to have your own "We hate whiny people with kids" posts too.
I don't get it.
We all want our opinions validated, as obviously I do if I display them for all to see. Some of us also like to start debates, arguments. Maybe Sherri's language was a bit strong? Doubtful. She was pissed and annoyed, and it showed. I doubt that she was "jealous" for not having kids as one person stated.
Since I've started doing this "blog thing", I've noticed that you can't just have an opinion. In many cases, you MUST have a reason for it. You MUST hate kids if you hate mommy blogs. You MUST hate nascar if you hate those annoying blogs with all the stupid car pictures.
I hate tomatoes, and V8, but I love marinara sauce.
The world isn't all or nothing, and it hasn't been black and white since any of us were 5 years old. Why can no one disagree without getting their shorts in a wad, or taking personal offence to it? Disagree with me sure, but don't assume I'm a communist wingnut because I believe in herd immunity. I don't believe you're an idiot because you've made the best decision you think you can for your kid. I QUESTION that decision, and I worry about the increasing number of people who do. I WANT to hear your reasons, just like I want to hear Sherri's reasons for not liking Mommy blogs, or her commenters reasons for LIKING them. (Didn't see any of those)
We can't all be right, but why can't we at least be nice?
No, we cannot be nice. Its human nature to tear other people down, to place them below us on the social ladder. Ever wonder why our society loves Jerry Springer (even though people deny watching it...its still on the air, someone is watching), Dr. Phil, reality shows (where people are demeaned) and celebrity gossip rags? It is because we want to feel superior to others. It makes our own lives a little less boring. Same goes with cliques, their goal in life is to place themselves beyond reach at the expense of others (ie: mommyblog haters).
Sherri is entitled to her opinion, I admit when I read her post I got my back up, but as I read the comments I can certainly see her point. If I were in a social setting like that the last thing I would want to do is talk babies. I mean, I'm around the boogers all damn day long, lets talk politics or somethin.
I hated cliques in HS, probaly because I was never in one. Even now, when I've watched message board wars the cliques are apparent and rather nauseating. They make someone the common enemy and go to town. As someone who has BEEN the common enemy it isnt a nice feeling.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:16 p.m.
The only problem that I have with that second post is that she uses the word "retard" as an insult for a child. I just hate that kind of derogatory shit in reference to children, and it makes her seem like she has two peas rolling around in her head instead of a brain.
I find whatever people fear or hate the most, is what they will eventually find in themselves someday.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:04 p.m.
Who the hell is Dooce anyway?
Posted by
Anonymous |
6:10 p.m.
I guess the retard thing didn't bug me since I call me kids names jokingly sometimes, but I see how that could be offensive. I relate to the way she was being, so it didn't but me, but I see how it could.
Dooce is sorta the first "famous" blogger-she's a good writer and stuff, and I don't mind her (don't love her either-just not my thing) and EVERYONE seems to link to her. SOme blogs seem to be the cool ones to link to or something...I dunno. I link to what I like when I remember to do it. Sometimes the links are just popularity contests. I just use links so I can move stuff out of my favorites because I can't remember crap.
It's just sometimes, the blogging thing is so damn COOL and I get so much support and friendship-other times, whether I caused it or not, it feels like the exact reason I'm not friends with chicks.
I'm such a snot.
Posted by
thordora |
6:22 p.m.
And Jen, your point it mine exactly. I don't want to talk about my kids all the time. I want to gush about mine, ignore yours, and talk about books or something. :P
How is RR V.2 anyway?
And my "vice" is Pink is the New Blog and entertainment tonight. So I'm just as guilty.
Posted by
thordora |
6:23 p.m.
I'm trying to be fair in my own impression of BlogHer because I have talked with a few very interesting and thoughtful women as a result of my stint as a member. (Who resigned a few days ago, btw.)But my impression of a lot of the mommybloggers and other attendees was "no thanks."
When I first saw Sherri's post, I cringed a little. But like you, when I read more, I had to admit that when I was single and 30 I might have reacted similarly if a group of wives and mothers treated me shabbily. I honestly though I would never be a wife or a mother and women who were both, made me a little uncomfortable. If they had treated me badly as it seems they did to her, who knows what I would have unleashed in their direction. :)
After reading a little more of her site, I think a simple vent of hers got blown out of porpotion and taken at least somewhat out of context.
And hey she also hates Hummers, which I think are the most ridiculous, assine vehicle on the roads.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:51 p.m.
Oh, and your comments about links reminds me to add you to mine. I love people who speak their mind.
Posted by
Anonymous |
7:54 p.m.
I've written huge vents and then thought twice about posting them for this very reason.
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:58 p.m.
It's her blog. She'd probably hate mine. Of course one of the reasons I have two blogs is so I can wear two hats. Koolaid granny on one, activist on the other.
I went over, read her post, and waded through the comments. I was fine with her dislike of "mommy bloggers", whoever they are, but not with the insulting things she said about the kids. Retard and nappy headed? C'mon, that's not criticism, that's just mean and hurtful. I have two special ed kids and all three are nappy headed.
How many blogs are there now? A zillion? Surely we can all find something to read.
And I'd like to think we can discuss without the name calling (although sometimes I'm using the delete key a lot).
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:20 a.m.
Thor- She's fat! LOL! She has gained 2 lbs and an inch since birth. Making up for lost time and sucking me dry.
Posted by
Anonymous |
1:30 p.m.
I have to say that I too felt a bit of excitement when I read Sherri's post. Not because I hate "mommy bloggers" (as I think she would place me in that group, as I am indeed a blogger who happens to also be a mom), but because of the very fact that SHE SAID IT. She came out and stirred the pot and now everybody's all "WTF, mommy bloggers are all so awesome and original and so gosh darn friendly!!!" C'mon peeps, let's get real. Let's not forget the fact that we are talking about a huge diverse group of women who don't all want to talk or hear about poop and teething all the time.
For the record, I too blog about my kid and how cute she is and how tired I am and blah diggity blah blah blah. I also blog about books and thoughts in my head that go far and beyond whatever awesomely cute thing my kid did that day. And I feel increasingly uncomfortable being grouped under the label of "mommy blogger".
Sorry to hijack your comments! I just have been feeling the wrath of this for a few days now and was glad to see someone else pipe in.
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:41 p.m.
Jennifer I'm glad to hear it! At least if she sucks you dry, you lose any weight, right?
kate My biggest qualm with the whole thing is that everyone jumps up and down saying "it's my blog, I can write what I want" and then BLASTS her for doing so. Was some language questionable? Looks that way, but people were taking her to task for her opinion, and the normal feeling of being ostracized that some of this whole thing causes.
I don't feel like I fit in as a "mommy" blogger, or any other "type" of blogger. Maybe the "crazy, mentally ill mommy blogger"?
I don't find all bloggers friendly, period, and certainly not a group of bloggers who seem intent on stifling any view point contrary to theirs. I remember when I had no kids. All the talk about kids was ANNOYING. Now, I get it.
But I'm still not going to blog about getting puked on last night. My dubious skills as a writer can't make that interesting at all.
Thanks for stopping by!
Posted by
thordora |
9:28 a.m.
I can totally see myself becoming obsessed with motherhood, infants and childbirth the SECOND that I find out I'm even pregnant. It's just in my nature to be obsessed with things. ;)
But the last thing in the world I'd do is constantly blither to every living thing about babies. Unless you're in the same boat I am, you're probably not all that interested in hearing about my every fart, burp and bleep while I'm in labor. Save the drama for the mamas.
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:06 p.m.
And Nicole, that's normal-to have that obsession, but to channel it into something intelligent. There are some blogs which read like a shrine, and it's creepy to read and irritating sometimes. The interesting Moms are the ones who are themselves with kids.
And really, if I don't want to hear myself talk about it, I certainly don't want to hear about someone else talking about it.
Posted by
thordora |
10:48 a.m.
Interesting discussion! May I link to your blog? :)
I followed the link to Sherri's place. I think that I disagree with both sides, but that I disagree with Sherri LESS than I do with her commenters. Mommy blogs to tend to get irritating. Of course, none of my regular reads can be called "Mommy blogs", because, even though their authors are indeed mothers, they write about everything, not just their children.
Mommy bloggers should just wait another few years till their offspring grows up and asks them, "Mom, why the heck are you posting about my personal life?" I'm telling you this from personal experience! heh heh.
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:36 p.m.
Link at will Goldie. I love new readers!
And none of my regular reads tend to be pushed into one "category". I get bored with that...
Posted by
thordora |
3:53 p.m.