Why yes, I do have a "life partner"
I was reading some post somewhere today as I tried to block out two children giddy from being housebound due to the rain (apparently in New Brunswick, fall starts REAL early this year). The post talked about how many bloggers don't really talk about their significant others, and the poster was interested about the why's of this (if anyone remembers the post-please leave the link in the comments-it was a neat post)
And I got to thinking-I don't reference the Dorf all that much, aside from when I'm mad or he does something stupid (not necessarily mutally exclusive). And it's not fair to the guy, because I really do love him, and the other day on the bus, I started thinking of why. And I condensed it to one moment.
When I'm being bipolar, or otherwise myself, and I'm foul for no apparent reason at something as benign as say, a wall, he'll try and crack me up, which he's pretty good at. He gets this sweet earnest look on his face, and I love it. That look always tells me I'm with the right person, because he cares enough about me, loves me enough to dare the possible explosion that his attempt my engender. He tries and he tries, even though I'm like the little girl with the little curl. When I'm good, I've very good, but when I'm bad, I'm horrid. He takes it all with grace most of the time. And I forgive him for the times when he doesn't, because frankly, I wouldn't hang around my ass.
We've come a long way together. I've said many times that we wouldn't be together still if not for the kids, and the changes they created, and I think it's true. He was wrapped up in trying to be some music engineer that 20,000 of tuition didn't make him want badly enough, and still wanted all the toys Deluxe might have. I just wanted someone to love me, be happy with me. I can delude myself and say that I wanted someone to go on a grand adventure with, but it's not true. All I've ever wanted is the quiet happiness my parents shared despite cancer and money and all the other shit life throws in the way.
And I have it. I really do. And it's lovely, like the field behind my house that fills with lupins in the early summer. I have someone who loves me, who is willing to call me on my shit, and finds me beautiful, even on my fat and bloated days. I have someone who never once mentioned how badly I smelled from lochia after giving birth, despite his overly sensative nose. I have someone who loves my cooking, and tells other people. I have someone who turns me on as much as he can piss me off.
I have someone who loves me despite what I might say on my crazy days.
He has his faults-he can be angry, he can be mean, and he can just plain old not think. But usually, he rises above all that crap. He loves his children and his children love him, and he's not afraid to be the primary caregiver, despite all the shit people give him for it.
He's beginning to love his life, and I think I'm falling in love with him all over again.
And I got to thinking-I don't reference the Dorf all that much, aside from when I'm mad or he does something stupid (not necessarily mutally exclusive). And it's not fair to the guy, because I really do love him, and the other day on the bus, I started thinking of why. And I condensed it to one moment.
When I'm being bipolar, or otherwise myself, and I'm foul for no apparent reason at something as benign as say, a wall, he'll try and crack me up, which he's pretty good at. He gets this sweet earnest look on his face, and I love it. That look always tells me I'm with the right person, because he cares enough about me, loves me enough to dare the possible explosion that his attempt my engender. He tries and he tries, even though I'm like the little girl with the little curl. When I'm good, I've very good, but when I'm bad, I'm horrid. He takes it all with grace most of the time. And I forgive him for the times when he doesn't, because frankly, I wouldn't hang around my ass.
We've come a long way together. I've said many times that we wouldn't be together still if not for the kids, and the changes they created, and I think it's true. He was wrapped up in trying to be some music engineer that 20,000 of tuition didn't make him want badly enough, and still wanted all the toys Deluxe might have. I just wanted someone to love me, be happy with me. I can delude myself and say that I wanted someone to go on a grand adventure with, but it's not true. All I've ever wanted is the quiet happiness my parents shared despite cancer and money and all the other shit life throws in the way.
And I have it. I really do. And it's lovely, like the field behind my house that fills with lupins in the early summer. I have someone who loves me, who is willing to call me on my shit, and finds me beautiful, even on my fat and bloated days. I have someone who never once mentioned how badly I smelled from lochia after giving birth, despite his overly sensative nose. I have someone who loves my cooking, and tells other people. I have someone who turns me on as much as he can piss me off.
I have someone who loves me despite what I might say on my crazy days.
He has his faults-he can be angry, he can be mean, and he can just plain old not think. But usually, he rises above all that crap. He loves his children and his children love him, and he's not afraid to be the primary caregiver, despite all the shit people give him for it.
He's beginning to love his life, and I think I'm falling in love with him all over again.
I've definitely noticed this as well. Personally for me I don't talk about them cause 1) Currently don't have one and 2) When/IF I did I still wouldn't because I made a goal to not use my site as a canvas to emotional posting.
So far so good.
My site isn't a log of my life and I don't plan on ever making it to be one. However, yeah, if the site is one of those where you do log your life...I'd expect to see it discussed.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:44 a.m.
When I first started granny (which has somehow evolved into a log of my life) one of my online friends (L.) from BB didn't realize I had a husband.
Poor Ray. I corrected that immediately. Now I mention him frequently.
I'm sure it depends on the blogger.
Posted by
Granny |
3:59 a.m.
Hello there. I just clicked the random link on the Crazy-Hip Blog Mommas and here I am. I really enjoyed reading this post, and the one about the malls. I don't talk about my hubby on my blog, except for the occassional moment when he either REALLY pisses me off, or when he does something so sweet that I feel the need to brag about him. He puts up with a bunch of my crap, and I put up with a bunch of his. I think the reason we stay married is because we know that nobody else would put up with our crap. LOL! But I digress, we both love each other for reasons that might not seem logical to others, but I wouldn't trade him for a man who annoyed me less often. I love him most because he's such a wonderful father to our four sons. Ta for now dahling.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:44 p.m.
I think its just human nature to talk when we are being negative and not so much when things are going well. At least, that's my nature ;) I'm working really hard right now to learn to be more verbal about the good stuff.
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:54 p.m.
I don't talk about the SO on either of my sites because it doesn't fit with my format - since neither of the blogs are personal - I think it depends on the blog intent. Most personal blogs are for catharsis and end up being about the writers emotional state or the writer's kids - so I think it's good that you give the Dorf a plug.
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:43 p.m.
That's cool man! :-) I think we all could learn to speak about our significant others when they DON'T f*** up. lol
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:43 a.m.
Ah I think you mention him a fair bit in good and bad contexts. Especially noticed a lot of good stuff in the last couple months.
Posted by
Carin |
2:29 p.m.
I guess it's like someone said-it wouldn't kill us to point out what we love about our partners.
Like the mix cd's he keeps making me with new bands to listen too... Of Montreal ROCKS btw...
Posted by
thordora |
4:29 p.m.