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Here's what I don't get.

I was thinking about this huge thing with that Foley guy, and how it's suddenly so important that he was molested when he was younger, as if it relates to the crime, and I'm wondering:

Why is it something like 1 of every 3 women have been sexually molested at some point in their lives, and yet most of them never, ever go on to molest someone. Why is this 'excuse" given for nearly every single pedophile who gets caught? Why is it considered relevant?

I was molested, and find the idea of doing it to someone else repugnant. Why is there a seeming "allowance" for men if they admit it happened to them so long ago? If someone shot at me as a child, would that somehow make it "ok" for me to shoot someone later in life?

I don't get it-can someone explain this to me, since the news lately has left me with a loss for words.


I know there is a small percentage of abused kids who grow up to be abusers (not necessarily just sexual abuse).

It's sad but it's still not an excuse. Neither is "poor me, I'm a drunk and I must enter rehab">

He's a pedophile. And a hypocrite.

Circumstances, reasons--are not excuses.

You know Thor, it's kinda like what I've been saying all along. People want to blame their life experiences, or their parents, or religion for the worlds problems. Why do some people rise above a crappy childhood or environment, while others don't? In a nutshell all of the problems of the world stem from men and the way our culture is ruled by them.

What are the percentage of women who commit violent crime? What percentage of women commit rape or murder? What percentage of women are terrorists?

Women can be mentally ill or just socialized to behave badly, but they don't cross social boundry lines like men.

Whenever I see people throwing women and children in mass graves I think it's worth asking how that society treats it's women. It's worth asking how many women are in positions of leadership among that culture or community.

There is, quite simply, something wrong with men. They need to be controlled. Better.

Missy, I see what you are saying. However, i think you paint the picture with too broad a brush.

Women have just as much potential for violence and maliciousness as men. They are not saints because of their sex. And men are not demons because of theirs.

But, power corrupts (or corrodes).

As for the excuse. I don't know. I think if you grow up abused in some way and you cannot shake the feeling of powerlessness, you will go looking for someone, as an adult, to exert power over.

Those of us who overcome abuse, have realised that we are good people, even if we are in conflict with that. The folks who continue the chain of abuse are the people who fundamentally feel worthless.

That is, of course, MHO.

I am curious if it is different if it's a same sex molestation?
BTW I was molested by a male Doctor when I was 5. I neither wish to moleste nor do I have a problem with Doc's. Odd that !

"However, i think you paint the picture with too broad a brush."

Well yeah, I tend to do that. But for some reason, it always seems to come back down to the fact that men do bad stuff women don't. Or at least the percentage of women is so statistically low as to be insignificant.

So bad things happen to people. And then they do bad things. What is the moral status of such people?

Let's ponder that one some more.

Not at ALL to belittle those who've actually endured such heinous abuse but when people start waving some kind of molestation flag around for sympathy (*cough*...Foley...*cough*) then it makes me turn a deaf ear to whatever their sob story is.

The whole explanation just seems to convenient for me to believe it anyway.

I've been thinking about it some more. He's responsible for his actions, abused or not, alcoholic or not.

However, if there is something to the theory that abused children sometimes grow up to be abusers themselves, we could perhaps intervene early and head them off.

Maybe we're already doing that in some places. I don't know.

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