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I'm an asscrap.

Really, I am.

My guttural reaction to the Hurricane was a base "jesus, TOLD YOU!" Childish, and wrong. I read a lot about the weather, and I knew what the predictions were for New Orleans, and that area. I sat transfixed watching the TV the day it hit, knowing it would happen, hoping that people had listened to the call to evacuate.

I knew not everyone would. Some couldn't, some wouldn't. At first it looked ok. Now look at it. Armed looters. Rapes, people starving, babies hungry and lord only knows what their mother's are able to feed them. I keep envisioning these young mother desperate to get the breastmilk flowing again, and I wonder if those who do have milk are sharing it with other women's babies. I think of my daughter stuck in that horrible, confusing hot mess and I just can't...I lose all semblance of reality.

I made a terrible comment on another blog, borne of being frustrated with the needless waste, the idiocy of boys running around with guns firing on ambulances, the shortsightedness of multiple governments to help prevent this to some degree. I, and I'm sure many like myself want to help, wonder why your armies aren't able to help in an immediate or valuable way, wonder why these people won't just get up and start walking since anywhere must be better than where they are.

I made a terrible comment because I can't stand the thought of my children, anyone's children, having to watch someone die, needlessly, and then be shoved to the side because there's nothing anyone can do. I made a terrible comment because this type of thing happens all the time all over the world, and yet we never hear about it. We never hear, because we choose not to, or because no one tells the story. I made a terrible comment because sometimes I'm naive and wonder why we can fly to space, but we can't adequately plan, to some level, for a catastrophy.

And hey, maybe I'm also naive to think that perhaps people won't want to rebuild somewhere that is so inherently unsafe. I also don't understand why people continue to rebuild flimsy homes in the middle of tornado country, and have bad roofs where I live considering the amount of snow we get. I don't understand why people aren't more focused on prevention and preparedness. But I also realize how woefully unprepared I truly am. Just like everyone else.

Maybe I'm naive to think that sometimes, when a body of subject matter experts says something shitty will happen, and that changes need to be made, that maybe once, despite the cost, changes will happen. How much have the last few administrations spent on wars?

I feel rotten and sad and helpless and I wonder how I'll ever explain shit like this to my kids. I sit crying because I can imagine losing a parent-then I magnify that to losing everything I know and own. I feel rotten because four days later, people are sitting and starving and dying in a first world country. I feel rotten because some people take this as a chance to play big boy with a gun.

I'm an asscrap. But even asscraps do a bit more reading, and realize they're being asscraps.

Update: Articles like this one REALLY brought home a lot of things to me that I would have never thought of due to my circumstance and life experience. It brings to light many things the common media isn't.

And I'm not a bigger person. I'm just a tiny cog feeling helpless, who doesn't wish to cause more pain. I caused some pain because I had an episode of foot in mouth disease. We need action and planning, not blame and fingerpointing (although I'm still doing some of that, currently at the INACTION of most government down there)

The results of the tragedies do happen everywhere, in every country. People hold America up to a higher standard because we are a first world country. Not many take the time to remember that we are just people like anyone else. What is going on sucks and it seems that all we can really do is sit back and watch or go do something else.

Let's go do something else. Help where we can, donate, pray, etc.. Then turn off the news and head outside and play with our kids. Spend some quality time with our future. :-)

Love you dear!!!

What a big person you are to apologize in this way and bigger still to realize your potential errors. I too speak before I think of offending anyone. You were naturally going with your gut instincts, however "naive" u feel they are. The world could be a better place I feel if everyone was "naive".

Thanks for linking that artcle. I don't think you are asscrap, just human. Love you baby!

I just wanted to say how impressed I am that someone can turn around and realize that their first thought may not have been ok. We're all human, but it hurts to admit it sometimes.

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