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Stupid Stick

Pick 5 "vocations" from the list below and complete the sentence to explain why. Then I then add three (or so) and pass the "stick".
If I could be a musician...
If I could be a doctor...
If I could be a painter...
If I could be a gardener...
If I could be a missionary...
If I could be a chef...
If I could be an architect...
If I could be a linguist...
If I could be a psychologist...
If I could be a librarian...
If I could be an athlete...
If I could be a lawyer...
If I could be an innkeeper...
If I could be a professor...
If I could be a writer...
If I could be a llama-rider...
If I could be a bonnie pirate...
If I could be a service member...
If I could be a business owner...
If I could be an actor...
If I could be an agent….
If I could be video game designer...
If I could be a comic book artist...
If I could be a hooker...
If I could be a crack addict....
If I could be a porn star....
If I could be a mime....
If I could be a domestic engineer...
If I could be a chimney sweep....
If I could be a masseuse...
If I could be a taxi driver....
If I could be a priest...
If I could be a fighter pilot...
If I could be a homeless person...
If I could be a biker...
If I could be a mortician...
If I could be a horror film killer...
If I could be a movie writer...
If I could be a muppet...
If I could be a fast food product...
If I could be a piece of office equipment...
If I could be a head of state...
If I could be a member of a boy band...
If I could be a Wednesday...
If I could be a list...
If I could be a figment of someones imagination...
If I could be a research scientist...
If I could be an animal...
If I could be an item of clothing…
If I could be a superhero…
If I could be a carpenter….
If I could be a layman….
If I could be a piece of candy….
If I could be a beach….
If I could be a master…..

If I could be a bonnie pirate-that way I would FINALLY have an excuse to saw "ARGH", or whatever it is that pirates say. And I could wear all the stripes I wanted, and people would just have to shut up about my stripe socks cause if they didn't they'd walk the plank near bloodthirsty sharks.
If I could be a librarian....I'd fix the library here in the armpit so maybe just once I could bloody well find all the women's studies books in one place.
If I could be a carpenter...I would have fed Karen more than once a month...

I will add...
If I could be a condom...
If I could be a diaper....
If I could be a spore....

And pass the wacking stick over to....
Babin...http://spaces.msn.com/members/neastwood
Megabrad...http://spaces.msn.com/members/nothingheretoseemovealon
Kitty, so perhaps kitty will say something...http://spaces.msn.com/members/okie777

Aha....I kept checking your other blog and didn't think you had noticed the stick was passed. Well done. Obligation complete. (I'm logged in under MSN because I couldn't post on your other blog otherwise.)

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