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Workplace Asscraps

TO amuse me tomorrow, I want to hear what irritating things YOUR coworkers do. If you don't work outside the home, irritating things people do in Walmart, Tesco or Target will suffice. I just want to make sure it's not me.

  1. The building I work in has two sets of double doors. What in FUCK possesses people to sit there getting MAD waiting for everyone to enter/exit in set A, while set B languishes alone and unwanted. And no matter how often I mutter "there are TWO set of doors DUMBASS, they STILL do it.
  2. Seat Tinkles. The other day, I went to flush when I noticed two shy drops of piddle on the part near the handle, where NO pee should ever venture. Girls, I know that the EVIL toilet seat scares you, but if you need to hover THAT much, just fucking hold it. And what in hell will you catch from my ass anyway? Dry skin? WHich reminds me
  3. Hovering, non-wiping, or the bastard child NON-FLUSHING. WHY does anyone hover? A toilet seat is a clean thing. Unless you have a gaping wound on your ass, and I've just smeared crap on the seat, YOU WON"T CATCH ANYTHING. If you DO have a gaping wound on your ass-GO THE HELL HOME. If you drip-CLEAN IT UP. And HOW hard is it to flush? Use your foot, I don't care. But come ON! If you take a crap, OR have your period, FLUSH THE FUCKING THING. Do i go to your desk, take a shit and leave it on the keyboard? NO, I DON'T. ICk, what IS that about some people?!?!
  4. Stopping to "chat". The "I have nothing to do, so I'll come bother you" routine. I HAVE work to do, and no, I don't want to show you pictures, talk about my new desk, hear about the fucking picnic, ad nauseaum. FUCK OFF! I don't see even an inch of givesashit in my eyes.
  5. LOUD conversations. I get the fact that you have nothing to do. Roll that up tight and choke on it.

And my PERSONAL favorite: INTERRUPTING ME. Hey, I know I've told almost everyone I know that I have ADD, and that it's SUPER hard to concentrate, but hey! PLEASE interupt me for nothing, or throw shit at me or find some other way to throw off the train of thought I fought all morning to get.I mean, I don't sit there listening to Lamb of God REALLY loud on headphones with my back to you immersed in a spreadsheet just cause. It's because I'm WORKING, and for once able to get something done. Why in HELL does everyone need to disturb that? Is there something wrong with me getting something done? Cause I take all that Ritalin for no reason. It's hard enough to get anything done without people being sheer twats and not stopping to think that perhaps I'm busy or in themiddle of figuring something else. And yeah, just because I'm sitting there thinking, it doesn't mean I'm doing nothing. It means I"M FUCKING THINKING.

I wish they'd just stick me on the roof or something, so everyone would leave me the fuck alone.

So tell me guys, what annoying things do people do to you?

I was one of those annoying people today. I took 10 items into the 1-8 express checkout. It wasn't busy (no lineup behind me) but I still apologized to the checkout girl.

I hate people that drive slow in the passing lane.

I hate people who stop in the middle of the fucking aisle at the grocery store to chat or look and block the whole frigging lane when you're running a a bat out of hell on your lunch break to get your shopping done.

I hate people that don't stop at crosswalks.

I hate people that won't hold the door for someone who is disabled or has 10 kids hanging off them.

know it alls.

Is there anything I like? Hmmmm, makes me wonder.

I don't mind the express lane thing if it's reasonable like you did Karen. It's when I'm in the express line on a break, and there is some gianormous, not the brightest, obviously on social assistance lady and her equally stunned child going through with about 40 items, all of which covered the 4 food groups of :pizza products, pop, chips and hotdogs.

ooh, the grocery aisle thing. They do that here, and even saying "hey, get the fuck out of the way of the bread" after numerous attempts to be polite doesn't work either.

god. DO I like anything either ?

Hoooo boy!! I could (and probably will) write a book on this someday. How about this. I work with a guy, who does crosswords on his computer all day. When he gets stumped (which on average, is every three and a half minutes) he takes a big breath, and sighs, like REALLY FUCKING LOUD. It's like the most drawn out, depressing sighs you ever heard. Constantly. All damn day. Every day. Sigh,...breath....sigh.....breath....sigh...on and fucking on....sometimes with a bit of a groan to it, as if to emphathise "boy, I'm really sighing now", and then, out of the blue, he will start jamming his fingers into the keyboard, smashing it really hard! I don't know what that is about.

Oh, I can't resist telling you this. He has two passwords. I figured them both out. Yes. I did it when he called in sick one day. It took me about 20 minutes. His passwords are.."xxx", and "yoyo". Really.

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