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Bad Hair on the Bus

Man oh man the city bus is always fodder, isn't it?

The other day, I'm sitting in my usual seat, and staring down at these two younger chicks who are obviously going to work at the mall. Remember when working at the mall was cool? (Actually, in my group of friends it never was but I digress).

The one chick has this rather interesting black hair with magenta stripes. Retarded, but interesting enough.

The other one however, has a hairdo a little closer to a beaver dam in appearance.

Not only does it look unwashed, it looks like bad cheap extentions from Walmart. And it's obvious that she thinks it's the hottest thing around. It's scary, and dirty, and just icky. And I find myself transfixed in some odd way, staring at the back of her head the entire time. I wanted to get a stick and poke it, or at least tell her that the whole tussled messy look is just that, a LOOK.

Anyway....update on me.....depressed again, so off to the shrink. I'm actually kinda freaked that I might be bipolar. I'm not looking forward to spending the next ten sessions explaining my life history. I should write a short essay about my life to save everyone time......it's just annoying.....OR, they blame parts of my life that aren't affecting anything to the point of me being suicidal and blah....I'm fairly sure it's a hormonal imbalance, but they never find anything in blood work....

And did I mention that October 11 was my first YEAR not smoking? As soon as I have money, a new tattoo for me!!!!!!

All it's done is RAIN lately....blarg.....getting lazy with the blog as I'm so damn busy...I want to post more writing, but just don't have the energy. I'm so fucking tired, even with 8 hours of sleep.....

Hey, chin up ok!!!!

We haven't even hit the bleakest part of our wonderful winter. Try blogging more, it works for me, hence the title of mine. It's not really what I post that helps, it's just knowing there's a place where I can vent that does it...

Take care of yourself.

I'll never quit, but hope you find a tat you like.

Yeah.. I got that diagnosis 15 years ago and in March, after several hours of grueling testing that left me comatose and unable to function, lo and behold!---No bipolar.

In those 15 years I was bounced from one med to another, meds to deal with side affect from meds....

Freaked when I found out I was preg and baby was also getting massive doses of lithium, and other toxic drugs!

I'm finally weaning off them one at a time, little by little... and actually, amazingly less depressed.

I bought an expensive light therapy box I use every morning to offset the diminishing light and I think it's making a HUGE difference in my mood.

This will be my first winter in 15 years without an antidepressant and I'm terrified! Winter's are usually my worst time. I'm hoping the light will help.

Of course there are not enough lights or drugs on the planet to get rid of the effects of holidays with "familiy." I'm trying to talk DH into a cabin in the woods for Christmas. So far he's not buying it. I may have to go by myself!

Getting long-winded like usual... guess I should have just e-mailed you privately. Oh, well...

Oooohhh.... I should have called! Your work number! {evil smile}


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