Just the poop maam...just the poop....
One of the many items of having kids and parenting that I did NOT anticipate was the poop factor.
I can talk about poop, and poop related items for hours. The kicker was sitting in the hospital room with Nat as the nurse went through the 400 trees they've destroyed so you can have coupons, and I commented on how great the poop page was. They have a color printed page showing you what poop should look like depending on age, and feeding method. Both Nat and her husband gave me that look that I'm so familier with "Go back to smoking crack you strange lady."
Hey, I found that page interesting as a first time mom, because I kept reading about poop textures and colors and amounts and I kept wondering, 'Does this count as peanut butterish? Is it too watery?"
I had entire conversations on coffee breaks about crap. Drippy crap, smelly crap, undigested carrot crap and it's ability to waft through 3 sets of doors. I was obsessed.
With my second, I didn't care as much. Poop is poop-so long as it's arriving, and it's not liquid, I'm content at this point. BUT....
potty training is sllloooowwwwlllyyy beginning, and yet again I am filled with visions of poop plums dancing in my head. How to get Vivian on the potty. What to bribe her with. How excited to get. All over POOP. I find myself dancing and saying "I'm so proud of you!" when she poops.
It's a crap folks. It's not nirvana. And yet I have to be excited about it. Yet I'm also stumped as to how to get her to use the damn thing. Everything I read, at the end of it, smacks of 'And then the rabbit climbs out of the hat." Eden seems to be having the same issues.
I know I won't talk about poop forever, but then I go see April, who is also talking about poop, albeit for vastly different reasons.
Are we all suffering under some sort of fecal fetish? Or are we just REALLY hurting for something to talk about lately?
Sad that my goal for happiness in the next year revolves around NOT having to wipe poop off butts. You have NO idea how much I'm looking forward to that.
I blame Dooce ;)
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:37 a.m.
Ah man, I'm so far away from looking forward to not wiping a poopy arse....but I can't wait!!!!!!
Cheers,
Raida
Posted by
Anonymous |
12:32 p.m.
Ah it will happen! Those days of wiping poop will cease to be - but then they find another way to dominate your life....
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:18 a.m.
Um, first off, not to burst your bubble, but you'll still be wiping the poop. And in some ways, it'll be even nastier.
Secondly, I have answers. Or at least, examples of training Diva Girl--a high strung thing who nonetheless was in undies in under a week. Email me if you'd like me to be your Obi Wan of potty training.
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:41 p.m.
I think you singlehandedly made me rethink my decision to have kids. It's bad enough scooping up CAT crap!
But maybe this is the natural progression after you've had kids. In which case the Poop Adoration will probably descend upon me when the time is right. ;)
Posted by
Anonymous |
10:19 p.m.
Oh I can relate!! This year, in the midst of potty training I heard my dear husband call to me.."Mommy, Tristan has somethng to show you!!!" in the fake littel sing song voice..
And as I went down the stairs, I thought to myself.."I hope it's a doodie!" as I knew that they were in the potty.
It was, It was!!!
I haven ever been so happy to see a crap in my life.
The last of the brood...potty trained completely at 2 1/2!!
I still have to wipe his butt though...
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:28 a.m.
Thanks sisypus....THANKS :P I remember crapping my pants as a kid, so I am trying to "pretend" it will end.
YES EMAIL ME. PLEASE.
In some ways the cat crap is worse. I used to have 8 cats at one point. that is a LOT of crap.
fauxclaud-I'm waiting for that magic day. She'll do it. She just won't REPEAT.
Posted by
thordora |
11:38 a.m.