These old eggs.
Somewhere in Britain, a 62 year old woman is preparing to give birth via C-Section, after becoming pregnant using reproductive technology.
Say it with me folks. 62 freaking years old.
Now, as a "nice" girl, my first gut instinct is to say "oh well, good for her, the nutter."
My second rational instinct is "This ain't cool."
I've read various websites chroniclling various couples and their attempts to get in the family way. I've seen them write about the time, the effort, the money spent, the excitement and the loss. And I respect this, and could never do it. And I don't understand it, likely because I'm adopted, and I've never felt the need for my own children. I had always planned on adopting if I wanted kids, and still plan to a few years from now.
What I don't understand, in this case, and others, is why women today think that having a baby is their "god given right". Cause really, if you believe in God, and think you deserve a child, wouldn't you have it without all the shots and the hands and the drugs? Why all the effort?
Am I the only one who stops to think that perhaps if you can't have kids, you aren't supposed to? My parents couldn't, and they adopted my brother and I. Am I the only person who gets concerned that perhaps were forcing nature, and creating children who may have flaws down the road? Am I the only person concerned that a 62 year old woman is NOT interested in the child's welfare emotionally? And I don't mean who will raise it, or feed it, I mean isn't she concerned that perhaps the child wants it's mother before others.
Are we opening Pandora's Box by insisting to breed later in life, by demanding it because hell, we get everything else we want, cause we want it. If I stand here and stamp my feet, I should get a baby, because I deserve it.
Some people are barren. Some people have miscarriages. Why? Because the offspring created are defective in some way, carry defective genes, or the uterus just isn't up to snuff. Period. No sugar coating, not polite way of saying it, you can't have babies. But now, we'll just go ahead and make them for anyone, because we can.
My mother used to say "Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD." I worry about the effects on these children, when their mothers are older than my kids grandparents. And of course, there will always be one example of an older mother doing it. And that's fine. But I can't be the only person more than a little frightened by the seemingly nonchalant usage of all these new technologies, ones that create life, something that has taken thousands of years to develop.
How many women won't use formula, because it's unnatural, and it's not best for the baby? Same with organic foods, clothing, the television. How many women screw with their periods with manufactured hormones? And yet how many of these women think nothing of having their children almost forced into, and out of their wombs, in a process that becomes more and more unnatural. Does wanting a baby really blind you this much? Is there really such a need for a sense of entitlement so huge that you don't care about that child's life? There's a reason that menopause hits women in their 50's-because ye old eggs are too old, and your body is no longer meant to breed, like it or not.
Don't even get me started on the part about going to Russia to buy some "impoverished" woman's eggs.
I fear that we are treading to quickly down a path that we won't be able to get off, and when we hit that point, people will wonder how on earth we got there.
Say it with me folks. 62 freaking years old.
Now, as a "nice" girl, my first gut instinct is to say "oh well, good for her, the nutter."
My second rational instinct is "This ain't cool."
I've read various websites chroniclling various couples and their attempts to get in the family way. I've seen them write about the time, the effort, the money spent, the excitement and the loss. And I respect this, and could never do it. And I don't understand it, likely because I'm adopted, and I've never felt the need for my own children. I had always planned on adopting if I wanted kids, and still plan to a few years from now.
What I don't understand, in this case, and others, is why women today think that having a baby is their "god given right". Cause really, if you believe in God, and think you deserve a child, wouldn't you have it without all the shots and the hands and the drugs? Why all the effort?
Am I the only one who stops to think that perhaps if you can't have kids, you aren't supposed to? My parents couldn't, and they adopted my brother and I. Am I the only person who gets concerned that perhaps were forcing nature, and creating children who may have flaws down the road? Am I the only person concerned that a 62 year old woman is NOT interested in the child's welfare emotionally? And I don't mean who will raise it, or feed it, I mean isn't she concerned that perhaps the child wants it's mother before others.
Are we opening Pandora's Box by insisting to breed later in life, by demanding it because hell, we get everything else we want, cause we want it. If I stand here and stamp my feet, I should get a baby, because I deserve it.
Some people are barren. Some people have miscarriages. Why? Because the offspring created are defective in some way, carry defective genes, or the uterus just isn't up to snuff. Period. No sugar coating, not polite way of saying it, you can't have babies. But now, we'll just go ahead and make them for anyone, because we can.
My mother used to say "Just because you CAN doesn't mean you SHOULD." I worry about the effects on these children, when their mothers are older than my kids grandparents. And of course, there will always be one example of an older mother doing it. And that's fine. But I can't be the only person more than a little frightened by the seemingly nonchalant usage of all these new technologies, ones that create life, something that has taken thousands of years to develop.
How many women won't use formula, because it's unnatural, and it's not best for the baby? Same with organic foods, clothing, the television. How many women screw with their periods with manufactured hormones? And yet how many of these women think nothing of having their children almost forced into, and out of their wombs, in a process that becomes more and more unnatural. Does wanting a baby really blind you this much? Is there really such a need for a sense of entitlement so huge that you don't care about that child's life? There's a reason that menopause hits women in their 50's-because ye old eggs are too old, and your body is no longer meant to breed, like it or not.
Don't even get me started on the part about going to Russia to buy some "impoverished" woman's eggs.
I fear that we are treading to quickly down a path that we won't be able to get off, and when we hit that point, people will wonder how on earth we got there.
I'm glad you wrote the post. I can't stop it from happening but it doesn't mean that I have to like it.
I've hesitated to say much because I've never been in the position of an infertile woman so it's hard for me to understand the obsession.
If we're using someone else's eggs or sperm or someone else's body, how does it get to be any more "our" child than adopted, already living, child would be.
On the other hand, I can't decide for them. I just don't know.
Posted by
Anonymous |
9:05 p.m.
Try my perspective:
After two years of trying, and multiple miscarriages, we were accepted into the fertility clinic at the local hospital.
It would be another eighteen months, but I can tell you the date, the time, and over which piece of furniture my now 24 year old son was conceived.
This would not have happened without medical intervention.
Vasectomy followed about two years later. Neither of us wanted to go through all that again.
Posted by
Anonymous |
11:54 p.m.
Honestly, I'm not sure where I stand on this, but I'm going to play devil's advocate:
Hasn't mankind been going against nature pretty much since day one? Aren't almost ALL medical procedures (attempts to cure illness, avoid death) unnatural? How is improving your fertility any different than saving your life after a car accident?
And, really, isn't most everything created in human society unnatural? Cars and televisions and computers and blogs... None of these crop up in nature, only in the human manufactured version of the world...
Perhaps... just perhaps... it's the nature of man to be unnatural.
I'm not sure where I'm really going with this, just thought it was interesting the more I thought about it...
-Tom Coffee
Posted by
Anonymous |
8:07 a.m.
Granny, I know what you're saying, and Without's experience mirrors what you're saying. And I can understand it from the perspective of two people who love each other and want a child-despite my devils advocate worries, I can understand it. I still think some people become obssessed with it, which is the scary part of it all.
I still remember both times with my girls, but we determined that particular "ways" cause babies for us.
Tom, I'm with you to a degree. Almost everything we do anymore is "unnatural". Of course, me starting this discussion online is "unnatural", and I wonder if we're evolving in this way. But I also know that saving a life isn't the same as creating a life. There's a difference there for me. But, I also believe in organ donation, which is most certainly not normal or natural.
So I'm a bit like you are, not quite sure. But I think people need to talk about the subject more often, because there needs to be a line in the sand. A 62 year old being impregnanted with some poor woman's eggs is most certainly NOT the likely or desired outcome of IVF ever.
Posted by
thordora |
12:08 p.m.
Adoption is a better alternative. However, if she is using an embryo that would have otherwise been destroyed, she is saving a life!
Posted by
Anonymous |
3:05 p.m.
So lemme get this straight -- what you're against is the idea of forcing one's body into having a child that it just isn't supposed to have?
Don't mind me. I've been off work since Friday and honestly have no idea what's going on anymore.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:06 p.m.
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Posted by
Anonymous |
6:41 a.m.
I agree with you thordora....I remember coming to your site at the suggestion of some blogger or other (sorry don't remember which) and they suggested yours because they alluded that you and I have lived similar lives and are fairly alike. I tend to agree. It might be crass and mean and everything else, but nature should be natural...that said...I can no longer have children in all liklihood. I am only 26. at 18 i was told menopause had begun. my son was conceived when I'd given up all hope of it after nearly 2 years of trying for a child. I was pregnant. I figure to this day, he's my miracle that the powers that be decided I deserved.. It's been more than 3 years since that day...I have maybe had 4 periods in that time. I know I am not having another baby...I am content but wistful. We always said 3. that said. I realize this is probably why my point of view is slanted the way that it is, but I wanted to point out that I 100% agree.
Posted by
Anonymous |
5:09 p.m.
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Posted by
Anonymous |
9:25 p.m.